Back in Hainan

So, I am back in China Land!

A few things about my journey from Leiria to Wenchang:

- Travelling to the other side of the world with no sleep from the night before is just a bit tiring. Also, Lisbon's airport is quite packed at 4 am.

Ah, my second home.

- Every time I go to Shcipol Airport in Amsterdam I always get some subtly snarky Dutch staff at the counters that can turn a simple “you want a drink too?” into a sarcastic remark. I guess that’s either Dutch nature or they take my sleep deprived self for another one of those tourists who had one too many “space cookies” down town because they don’t listen when they're told those things are only supposed to hit you half an hour later.

 

“Sir, you’ve just been standing there for a while now. We need you to show us your ticket.” “For… the concert?”

- Listening to Artic Monkeys on a 12 hour flight is surprisingly relaxing. Especially when you play "Brianstorm" during turbulence.

"Some want to kiss, some want to kick you..."

- Some old English dude spent the whole flight kicking my chair whenever I pushed it down, trying to push it back up so he could have the business class space he so rightly deserved (while keeping his own chair pushed down to the max). Silly Brit, I control the leaver, your puny kicks are futile!

Though a bit more space would mean less tea spilled over my trousers.

- Just when we were finally reaching Guangzhou, the staff then informed us that due to bad weather conditions we would have to land in Guilin instead, and then take another plane back to Guangzhou. Then when we reached Guilin the weather conditions weren't that great either, so instead we had to land in the even further away Changsha Airport. 

Always!

- Why after 4 years of getting in and out of China I can never remember to carry a pen with me to sign the goddam customs inquiry?

I can also sign them when the are given during the flight to China, in which case pretend they're crosswords because my mp3 is out of battery and I am desperately bored.

- Because of the detour to Changsha, I lost my morning flight to Haikou and had to wait for the afternoon one. One a side note, Guangzhou's airport the world needs more dim sum restaurants. 

Really. These things are DELICIOUS!

- The taxi driver told me that the highway between Haikou's airport and Wenchang will be closed for the year, which means he gets to charge me more for a longer trip. But on the bright side, he tells me, “those roads are getting really pretty!”

"And those signs are pretty, too, even if we just use them for decoration."

Anyway, I’m back in my apartment, which contrary to my worst fears is not overrun by big cockroaches walking around everywhere like they’re having a house party and my bed is their favourite spot to hang out. There were spiders, though, but those adorably little squashable creatures not only are easy to deal with but it’s also stress reliving to do so. 

Hmm, I starting to sound a little too sadistic on those poor arachnids, so maybe it’s time for me to take a nap. Like, till tomorrow. After all, I can’t look sleepy to the Chinese policemen I have to inform my presence to in the morning. Because of my (manly) beard, they might already suspect me to be a) a terrorrist b) a rapist or c) someone who’s too much of a slob to ever shave (the latter being the most insulting for its sheer accuracy).

再见!

Dusting cobwebs

Apparently if you spend a long time without blogging, when you try to log back in blogspot.com forces you to make a post before having any more access to your website. I guess it's the internet's version of cleaning the cobwebs from a room that has been closed in a long time. Or blowing the dust of a videogame cartridge. 

Ah, the 90's, the good old days when square shaped disks were the pinnacle of technology, Will Smith was a rapper and Britney Spears was a functional human being. 

Anyway, I've done a bit of travelling ever since I last posted, but I've also come to some conclusions about travelogues. They're easier to write down when done at the same time you're travelling, but they also take time, time that you'd prefer using to go binge drinking sightseeing . Then when you're back at home you can do it on your free time, but since it's not as on-the-moment, it doesn't come off as naturally. You also have to rely on pictures, which isn't bad if you're careful enough with your camera not lose it before you upload the pics to your pc. Fortunately, I am a mindful and responsible person to whom mishaps seldom happen, so -

- ...alright, alright, write your guess in the comment section on how many times I've lost my camera(s) this year. The winner gets a delicious chocolate cookie. Are you done? Well, the correct answer is:

"More times than I would have liked." 

There.

My point is, if I only write about travelling all the time this blog will only be updated in a date the Portuguese like to call "Saint Never's Day (at noon)" . 

Catholic countries have a lots, lots of Saints, and respective holidays. Given the Portuguese people's love for procrastination I'm surprised and disappointed that the concept of "never" having a holiday isn't more than a old sarcastic quip. But a man can dream.

So in the meanwhile, I'm going to write about a few other topics. You can even suggest your own topic. You can even start your own blog, and write about your own topic, and then I will be jealous of your attention and will sit and cry on a corner. Good times. 

Peace out.

Ps. Obrigado, Carolina, pelo comentáriozinho no meu último post. Foi encorajador. Grande Vikinhas, e grande Google Translate.

A few years later...

好久不见。